Ditch or Do? Date Night
I watched a rom com this past weekend that made me scoff at it from start to finish (as with most rom coms). It charted a couple’s relationship from start to finish and start again. In the beginning, this couple was hot and heavy like all day, every day, constantly about each other in each other’s faces. ‘Please. No one is getting it on that many times a day.’ That was my reaction although granted I have a full time job, a baby, school and this website to keep me busy. Add to that the fact that the heady giddy feelings of new romance have waned in the last four years. Life just sort of takes over and you and your partner fall into comfortable familiarity. This is the reason I think Date Night is such an important part of any relationship. The only thing is, don’t think of it as a lavish night where you dress up and go out every time. Date Night could simply be about reconnecting and taking time out to check in on each other without distractions.
Set time aside and stick with it
It’s hard to be consistent about date night mostly because life almost always gets in the way. Remember though, if it’s important to you you will make time and commit to it. Before the baby, my husband and I regularly did weekend breakfasts at the Java next to our house. This was a great time to talk about our goals, how we were doing (honestly) and what we were planning. I would always leave those breakfasts feeling more connected to him. After the baby, we tried on occasion to have a regular drink on Sunday evenings together which worked for a while until – you guessed it – life got in the way. Thinking about this has made me realise that I have no real idea what kind of head space he’s in and he probably feels the same way about me. So, just like before, it’s going back in our calendars.
If you have a Gmail account, they have ‘Goals’ where you can schedule things you want to achieve. It finds time within your calendar and sends you reminders. If you’re like me then you know it’s not happening unless it’s in the calendar.
Keep it simple
Nothing will kill a regular date night than the pressure to make it grand every single time. Sometimes all you need is an hour to walk around the neighbourhood and talk to each other. Other times, it could mean shipping the kids off somewhere and spending the weekend indoors being ‘young and foolish’ again. And most times, it’s asking the nanny to take over in the evening so you can go out and have a drink. It doesn’t really matter what the plan is, just that you do something – anything!
It’s okay to ditch sometimes
Even with the best intentions, sometimes our plans get side tracked. Someone travels, money hides (lol) or you have to work on something through the weekend. It isn’t the end of the world. Just try and catch up the very next time. You won’t get it perfect every time but make it count when you do.