Honestly, it’s just money
I was following up on some stuff at the bank the other day with my relationship manager when she said to me, ‘Do you want to apply for a credit card? We now have one with a low limit of 30,000 Kes’. Of course I laughed and told her there was no way in hell. But, because this is her job she kept going. ‘It has an interest free pay back period of 55 days. And it’s not like you would even hit that 30K limit.’ I told her, ‘Nice try. But let me deal with one debt at a time’. The biggest reason for me turning down that credit card is that I could see no use for it in my life and I did not want to have a random 30K in my life that I could spend without really thinking it through. Even if I never even touched the card. I would still be spending 4,000 Kes on annual fees. Forget it. When I told my husband this story his response was, ‘Must be nice to see money like bankers do. It’s just limitless.’ Ain’t that the truth. So why don’t we?
In our house, we live by many rules (No talking through a Batman movie unless it’s a rewatch, No messing with each other’s gaming scores, deep conversations are allowed at 3AM on Saturday mornings etc) but there’s one that keeps us sane – Money doesn’t belong to anyone. Hubbs’ uncle gave him this solid gem and we have grown to love it. Money, seriously, is just money. No one owns it. It moves around, exchanges hands (of business men and con men alike) never truly staying in one place. Isn’t it mad then that we often try to bend money to our will and hoard it while constantly terrified that it will disappear?
I don’t know a lot but I do know stress and I know money is a source of stress for a lot of people. Heck, it’s why I started this blog! A real affirming moment for me was when we were looking at our finances this past weekend. We’ve been saving diligently-ish but never really looked back on it. When we did, I have to say I was surprised that we’d come this far. We now legit have a nest egg. It was quite something to see it had grown because we’d taken our eyes of it. Maybe money has performance issues and doesn’t like to be watched.
For a lot of couples, money tends to be the thing that knocks the wind out of their sails. This is because life doesn’t stop happening just because you’re coupled up. And then if you decide to have kids? Your account is traumatised for a little while before you adjust. But guess what, you adjust and no one dies. The most liberating thing that can happen to you/for you is the realisation that money is just money. It does not define your relationships nor the quality of your life experience. It comes and it goes and while it makes things better, it doesn’t make them worth it. When we first lived together, I would go off on my husband because of his 20 minute showers. So one day I asked him why his showers had to be so long. He simply said even when he was super broke, a hot shower was one of the few seemingly free things he could enjoy. Well, how could I argue with that. If something that small could bring him joy, then we were going to be just fine and paying a little extra on the electricity bill doesn’t even bother me anymore.
As a new month begins and as the year winds down, take a moment to think about how you view money. Are you wrestling it to the ground trying to make it do what you want? Or are you doing what you can, where you can and letting the universe take care of everything else? Remember – it’s just money.